emo again =(

hey readers

yes, i am abit emo now due to my current circumstances.

everything is going on so wrong for me now...

nothing is going its way now...

WHY?!

i tried to be optimistic...

i tried...and tried....

but utterly fail...

but instead...i ended up being pessimistic...

things aren't just the way they are anymore...

everything is hectic...

everyone is leaving...

tension rises as time flies by...

everyone is starting to fall sick...

i am not sick..

just felt tension...

its been a while since i felt this way...

all the stresses and tensions i pent up for so long emerged to the surface once again....

i am turning silent again...

so if i stayed quiet for the day...

sorry..i am not being arrogant or something...

its just i need some time alone to pull myself up again...

and i am afraid that i might sprout nonsense when i am talking to you....

youre saying that studying stresses me up?

yes,but only abit...

i have other things to worry about other than my studies...

for once in my life...

i never hate myself so much....

but i wont think about suiciding.ITS RIDICULOUS.

one of the reason i hate myself is why am i so thick headed...

something that is simple for other people takes time to enter my head...

and why i cant socialize well...

i have been trying to polish my socializing skills for the past few months...

but i am getting nowhere...

i am just so disappointed with life now....

what should i do now...?

can anyone tell me...?

i am feeling so lost now...

will God's grace lead me back again...?