L.O.S.T

awww mannn

its the time of the year again D:

i am feeling lost now that everyone leaving me..
when i finally found some peoples that i can refer as friends
when i can finally hang out with peoples...
talk about personal stuffs..
share secrets and problems...
they are all going away...

i may look tough on the outside but can you tell what is on the inside?

NO

i am surprisingly a fragile person.
as you may know since i said it in my last post
i hate goodbyes.

it just breaks my heart.
even guys have fragile hearts okay!

you know,there comes a time
where you think that
everything or everyone will remain the same and stays together

but there also comes a time where we realize
that those are just some immature thoughts.
a thought of someone who is not willing to face the future

and when i think that everyone around me is leaving me or going away
its just sad

then it always leave me with the question
the question that has always been in my mind before i met those people
*what should i do now?*

ya'know?
maybe thats why i prefer to be alone.
yes

i thought that being alone was the only way to prevent me from getting hurt
or disappoint myself.

and that was wrong.
i realized it lately after i mixed with some peoples.
being alone itself means hurting yourself.

but when i am with my friends
mixed feelings comes in.
i can't feel any specific feeling when i was with them
i feel happy and sad at the same time.
there is a warm and fuzzy feeling when i am with them.

it feels like i can trust them
lean my head against their shoulders when i need them
tell and share them my problems
and deep inside me
i wanted to share my problems with them
but something tells me not to.

maybe it has to do with my previous experiences.
when i share a problem to a friend,
it somehow became their problem also.

i just don't know what to do now
maybe i should just stay alone?
because it does both sides good.
if we don't meet each other and bond
we wont get hurt when we leave each other

"Hellos and Goodbyes are normal in life.
And Life, Is not as simple as it sounds."

nawww this is not an emo post okay
its just my current feelings only
i am not sad or anything!

and i just realize
being someone who can express his problems to the world trough typing
but not express his problems to his friends trough talking
its like the saddest reason to live on as a human.
hahahhahah

for now i just wanna lay off this kinds of thoughts.
instead,i just wanna focus on spending more time with them
before the timer runs out!!
and also start studying soon becuz finals is just around the corner.
YES its this time again where i will go emotionally crazy.
bahahahah

if this post look emo then sorry lo

i promise i will make up to it next post okay!! :)

Toodles!