Getting up.

this semester have been a rough run for me.

things hit me one by one.

then all together, it all came slamming on me. 

it was so tough until at one point, i was about to turn into a half glass empty kinda guy, but luckily i didn't.

because i managed to think outside the box. well, at least that is what i thought.

everything happens for a certain reason.

for example, if you were to fall into a pit

think differently instead of think that you are unlucky or so.

think of it as a lesson for you to be careful next time.

besides in the midst of a disaster, a miracle could happen

as such, someone saw you fell into the pit and comes rescue you.

then you'd be friends with them right? 

you now haz more than 1 friend! lol jokesss

to be frank, i was never a strong person. 

i am weak and fragile. soft and vulnerable. emotional and selfish.

yet i chose not to show other people my weak side.

i am not a good person. i was never a good person.

but i try my best to eliminate my bad points.

thinking i could face the world by myself.

thought i could do it myself.

but last month, the world is trying to show me, that i am too weak to face it alone.

nothing went right the whole month.

it took me a while to stand up again.

but i managed to stand again.

for the first time in my life, i felt so weak and helpless despite the fact that i am already up and running.

but not running towards my goal, i am running away from reality.

reality is too much for me to face.

then, i stopped running from reality. turned my back to the exit.

and ran back to my goals. and waiting there, was many hands.

waiting for my hand to reach out and grab them.

but from the moment i grabbed their hands, i have felt the warmth i haven't felt for a long time.

i forgot what is the meaning to trust people, to need their support.

but a part of myself says, DONT.

because my past has been tainted with issues about trust.

and yet here i am

trying to open myself up again.

to be hurt? or to be healed?

but as i run, i hope i could finish this run i started.

i wish i had the strength and wisdom to overcome everything.

i commit everything to my Lord's hands.

to flourish or to perish.

its His choice.

enough for the emo posts. its been a while since i last did this. LOL

so Christmas is around the corner, i wonder what is installed for me this year's end.

hopefully something that would end my year abit better than last year's.

all i really want for my Christmas present and my birthday present this year, is just to be able to finish my studies and my run with God.

TOODLES